Reverie in Sultry June

The June heat is getting unbearable in Delhi. Why there is no rain? Last rain happened some 3 weeks back. And average temperature over the last two weeks is at 42 degree centigrade. Too much isn’t it. I think the world is really heating up. Long time back when I read “State of Fear” by Michael Crichton, I took the author’s argument very seriously. I sincerely believed that the concept of global warming is false and all the hype and hoopla surrounding it are handiworks of some wicked minds with vested interests. But now when I read that schools have declared summer vacation in Shimla, I have started believing in the concept of Global warming.

Despite the unbearable heat, my movie watching habit is intact. Every alternate week I generally go to some multiplex in Noida to watch the morning show. I go to the morning shows only because the ticket price is less and I cannot afford prices above Rs 100. I enjoy the two hours in the AC experiencing Wordsworth’s “Willing suspension of disbelief”. Lot of people advice me why waste money unnecessarily as I have a huge TV at home I can easily watch movies on DVD. But they do not know that once I possessed a huge desire to make films. I almost made it to the film schools. So during those two hours in the cinema hall, I dream. For me the best part of the movie is the credit rolls: “Directed By” – I imagine my name there. Yashraj Films, I replace it with my imagined home production unit name “Sunny Films”. Every shot I try to visualize the directors POV. It’s an experience of some other kind, which logical mortals will not understand. You need to be a professional day dreamer and a little eccentric to understand what I am trying to say.

Today when I was booking my ticket for the movie called “New York” online at http://www.bookmyshow.com/ , the memory of my first movie going adventure flashed in front of me. I was in Class VIII when i first visited a cinema hall, in my hometown Haldia aproximately 11 years back. The movie I watched was "Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jaygenge". The cinema hall’s name is “Manjushree”. The Hall remains as it is. There have been some cosmetic changes with some big coolers getting fitted but the overall getup and appearance still the remains.

I was brought up in a family where books and studies mattered. My dad was an extremely serious guy who only watched news in the 14” inch Black and White TV. Mom was a housewife who used to spend most of her time reading. She was a voracious reader and read everything that was available in Bengali. And she was a wizard in Maths. I was never an outgoing kid. I was not so good at sports either. So eventually I also took to Books. But I had a secret desire to be a singer. I used to adore Kumar Sanu like my personal God. I used to vociferously sing in the bathroom. Once under the shower, I used to belt out endless hits of Sanu. Almost every day my dad had to shout and knock on the bathroom to get me out. Till today I strongly believe that my singing career was nipped in the bud by my father. I could have easily become a Kumar Sunny, SAP or something else. And in those times we had no reality shows where I can just gate crash and start singing. But past is past. Let me not dig the grave further.

It was in 1995 that the movie called “Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge” was released. The movie with SRK and Kajol was a super hit. And the songs were too good. Kumar Sanu had a few songs in the movie and the song “Tujhe dekha to yea jana sanam” became my personal anthem. Lot of my friends saw that movie and the story of Raj became irresistible. I knew my parents will never give me permission to see the movie. And the era I am talking about had no concept of pirated DVDs and cable. So going to the hall was the only option. I started planning. I took my cycle on the pretext of getting some Xeroxes done and carefully examined the show timings in the movie posters. And I was so driven by the urge to see the movie that I decided to bunk my English tuition. The 6pm show and my English tuition timings matched perfectly. I enquired about the rates. It was Rs 4 for Rear, Rs 8 for Balcony and Rs 10 for Dress Circle. Getting Rs 4 for the ticket and Rs 1 as my bus fare was a big thing but then was not that difficult also. I managed.

I decided to see the movie on Monday. Instead of going to tuition I headed straight to the hall. I was nervous. I stood still at one place and observed the people, the ticket counters, the entrance to the hall, the shops, the roads. I located the rear stall counter. Then my eyes scanned for any familiar faces. If I am caught I am finished. I scanned thoroughly and decided to go for the kill. I stood in the line and got a pink colored ticket and quickly came to a vantage point where I started scanning people again. If you would have seen my movements that time you would have strongly believed that I was a spy in my earlier life. I saw couple of guys like me with bags at some other strategic points. Good to have company. I was not alone. Once I found the area clear I quickly stood in the rear stall entry line. The gatekeeper checked my ticket and looked at me. I sensed the scorn in his eyes. Boys entering manhood too early. But then no where it was written that children are not allowed. I was not going for an adult show. I made my entry. And I did it proudly.

The inside of the hall was mesmerizing. So many people. Food stalls. There was an area in the left where there were posters of upcoming movies. I went there. The place was very crowded. I had a look. The upcoming Adult movie’s poster was also there. My eyes bulged seeing the poster. I moved away. I found there were multiple gates in the ground floor and there were two stairs leading to the 1st floor. It was confusing. No directions were given. So I asked a guy. He showed me the entrance in the ground floor. I entered the hall. As I looked up, I saw lot of chairs in the 1st floor. The structure was a semi circle format with the screen at the centre and I understood why the tickets were called balcony. The dress circle concept I failed to understand. Anyway, I went to the guy with a torch light. He pointed to my seat in the third row. It was too close to the screen. I was very happy. Such an idiot I was. Only after half an hour I realized that the closer you are to the screen the more screwed is your movie watching experience. The guys paying Rs 8 and Rs 10 were watching it from a large distance away from the screen only to keep their eyes stress free.

The movie was too good. I tried to position my dad in the place of Anupam Kher. I quickly rejected the idea. I can never call my dad “Pops”. Neither my dad will offer me beer and tell me to go and get my girl, mo love. Instead he will shoe me away. And the possibility of me dating someone like Kajol was extremely remote. I imagined the face of the girl in our school on whom I had a bad crush. I imagined myself in the place of Raj and she took the place of Kajol. She singing “Jara sa jhum lu mein”. Me singing “Na re baba na”. Then I rejected the idea again. Too much wishful thinking.

I went mad when the song “Tujhe dekha to iye jana sanam” started. I never heard Kumar Sanu’s voice in a theatrical setup. I had Goosebumps. I started singing without forgetting that I was in a public place. Soon I found a hand pushing me. “Chup kore thak bachha. Barire giye ga na. Gann dorechen Tansen” (Shut up kid. Go outside and sing. Tansen has started singing!!), the guy beside me told. Others were looking at me. It was such a big insult. I went Red in embarrassment. My ears became hot. Why can’t the world motivate the talented guys? Why they have to always fight so hard to get their voices heard? Why?

The movie ended. I was the last guy to leave the hall. It was an experience! I loitered here and there. I had a hour to kill. I bought a Bapuji cake and started walking through an empty street beside the hall. This road was under construction, which once completed will lead straight to Ranichak reducing travel time. I sat on the culvert and started star gazing. One day I will be a singer. I sang the song “Tujhe dekha to iye jana sanam”. I sang it again. My eyes became moist. I imagined myself on the stage with my parents in the front row. My sweetheart with her parents was also there. I can easily spot her from the stage. I was too excited. I started singing again.

“Your Internet Session has timed out” – the message popped on the internet explorer page. I was back to reality.