Despite government’s best efforts to promote condoms, buying a condom still remains a big pain. In a recent ad we see few elderly ladies and a parrot shouting at the man for feeling shy to say the word “Condom”. The ladies tell him to shrug off his shyness and ask for a condom unashamed. “Bindass bolo” they say. Great! After all there is nothing to be ashamed in asking for condoms. But the reality is bit different once you visit the market. You don’t find too many encouraging people saying “bindas bolo”. Ninety percent of the condoms are sold from the neighborhood drug stores, grocery stores and pan walahas. Now the problem is that majority time the people you meet inside and outside these shops are not the “bindass bolo” types. You go to the drug store. You find lot of customers inside. You come out and wait. You keep waiting for the crowd to get thin. Ah! It’s empty. You rush in but two more fellows get inside with you. Oh no! An aunty walked in and positions herself beside you. What you do? Most of the time you end up saying “One strip of Gelusil please”. You come out. Same story in other stores. The grocery shop, the pan walah, all are too crowded. Where are the Bindas Bolo ladies? Enough is enough. You muster up courage and walk in to the drug store and say “Ek Kohinoor dena. Chota wala” (Give me a Kohinoor. The small one). All eyes roll despite their best attempts not to roll. Human nature after all. After all somebody is going to have a blast, so eyes will roll. Jealousy? Admiration? I don’t know. Sometimes the store guy will not give you the condom if there is a lady present inside. Once she walks out, you get your prize. Patience you must have.The best place to buy condom are the Departmental stores, the big ones like Big bazaar, Spencers etc. But to ease the process you must buy some other stuff too. Now you can always do that isn’t it. Enter the store, get a carry basket, pickup few biscuits, Maggie, fruit juice, a coke and pick up the condom of your choice. All the brands and varieties are up on display. You just pick the one you like. In fact the more you pick up the better for you. I mean if one can stock biscuits packs, there’s no harm in stocking few condoms extra! Once you are done, walk up to the billing counter. Pay and just walk out with your stuff. Mission accomplished with minimum damage to the civilians. No more obstacles now between you and that ecstatic moment. Enjoy! Topi Pehenke! (Wearing the cap).
