Mayawati cover your face! You need to save your face from the pigeons!

From now on I do not love pigeons any more. I just hate them. I just want to kill all the pigeons. Slit their throat and give them to the dogs. Please pardon my gory language but I am angry. Why? It’s because of a bloody pigeon.

Today I came back from office a little early. I quickly got fresh and switched on the TV. IPL was going on. Delhi was playing with Deccan Chargers. After having few biscuits and a glass of water I went to the kitchen to make a cup of tea. What the hell! A pigeon is sitting on the gas oven. It gave me a very timid look. I stood still and scanned one corner to another. Destruction and dirty shit everywhere. Glasses were broken. Spice containers were rolling on the floor. The spoons were lying on the basin slab. And pigeon shit everywhere. Only the Brisleri bottle was left alone. Ah! At least it understood the importance of water in this sultry summer.

I did not disturb the pigeon but tried to find out how it got in. Oh! There it was. The kitchen window latch was not properly put. The windows opened due to the winds. This Pigeon somehow willingly or accidentally got inside through the window. Now before it could make its exit, wind closed the window panes. And this little devil had no other exit route because all the windows in my flat were shut. So in its desperate attempt to break free it unfortunately created this destructive scene inside my kitchen. I quickly pushed the window panes wide open. Idiot! Instead of flying out of the window the little devil tried to hide behind the crockery shelf. I tried to go near it and push it out using a big spoon. It flew out of the kitchen and went straight into my bedroom. The windows were closed there too. It made a circle and then dashed against the glass panes. Then it sat on top of the curtain rod. I opened the windows and pointed to it but the devil was in no mood to fly away through the window. I guess it was terribly afraid that she might get killed. Do I look like a murderer you fool? I switched on the fan but put it off immediately because I was having serious doubts on this pigeon’s intelligence. It might hurt itself in the fan blades. I shouted at it. No result. I jumped towards the curtain rods with arms stretched out as if I was going to catch it by its throat. No result. It sat still on top and desperately tried to become as large as possible. It was puffing itself big as if it wanted to scare the hell out of me. Ok devil! You wanna frighten me! Hold on! I will flush you out. I got myself the mosquito spray. I will spray this deadly poison on your eyes. But better sense prevailed. I put it down. I don’t want to harm her. After all she also has a family. I don’t want to be a murderer and make someone cry. So I rolled up few news papers like balls and started throwing them at her. And it worked. The pigeon suddenly flew downwards and went away through the window! Mission accomplished!

I went to my kitchen and made my tea. Then I closed the kitchen door. Let it remain as it is till my maid comes. I called up my wife and updated her about the situation. I felt pity on that poor pigeon. Such a foolish creature. It simply had no brains. The kitchen window was not closed. I mean there was no latch in place. A little push and the windows would have opened. But it could not open it as it did not have the necessary physical capacity. At the end of the day it is not a human being with superior intelligence. I gave a smug smile sensing my superior intelligence compared to that pigeon. But then a thought came to me. This pigeon may be weak. It has no high intelligence levels. But it can still go and deposit shit in Mayawati’s face. I mean she is setting up numerous statutes of her own self throughout Uttar Pradesh inside the Dalit parks. Now no human being has the guts to shit on those statues. But this pigeon can easily go and do that. It is a fact that God has created all creatures equal. Certain weaknesses have been compensated by little strength in other areas. Hail to the almighty pigeons! I no longer hate them. After all it has more guts than me! Mayawati cover your face! You need to save your face from the pigeons!